The end of a marriage is an emotional time in a person’s life. Even when you’re the one who initiated the split, you may still experience some of the more difficult emotions that come with the process. Learning a bit about what you might experience during the process could help you to feel more grounded, especially if you have a plan in place.
Everyone will handle the divorce differently, so be sure that you’re thinking about how you’re feeling and not trying to shoehorn your situation into what someone else experienced. It’s easy to say what should happen, but healing after a long-term relationship ends is messy. You’ll likely experience ups and downs frequently.
Anger and blame
Some of the emotions you might find at the start of the divorce include anger and the desire to blame. These are common because each person wants to point out what the other person did that contributed to the split. While you should take the time to address these matters, you shouldn’t dwell on them. It really doesn’t matter what led to the divorce because it’s happening. Now is the time to remind yourself that this is a fresh start for you.
Resentment and loss
The end of the marriage means that you’re going to have to deal with many losses. The thought of this may cause you to resent your ex for their part in the split. Some of the things you may lose include friends who don’t want to take sides in the divorce, specific traditions you’ve become accustomed to and seemingly unlimited time with your children. Dealing with these losses as they come is beneficial because you can determine what you should focus on and what you can let go.
Elation and hope
As time progresses, you’ll probably start to feel the hope that comes with the fresh start. You can boost your ability to enjoy your new life as a single person by working out a divorce settlement that focuses on your best interests. This might not be easy to do because you have to think about the practical matters of the division options, but it can help to ease your mind if you do have a solid division. Even though you may still feel some of the more challenging emotions, you’ll likely find that happiness is just around the corner.