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Signs that you're a victim of domestic violence or abuse

One of the most difficult aspects of domestic violence is the denial of victims. It can take a long time for a victim to realize that he or she is being subjected to unlawful and immoral behavior. This is especially the case when victims love their abusers so much that they dismiss or ignore the abuse as it gradually worsens.

Hopefully, the victim will eventually "wake up" and take action to either get away from his or her abuser or get appropriate help from police if getting away is difficult or dangerous.

What constitutes domestic abuse?

The first step in solving a domestic abuse problem involves recognizing that you're a victim. With this in mind, here are a few of the most common ways that domestic violence can manifest in a relationship. One partner:

  • Is constantly putting the other partner down and/or embarrassing him or her.
  • Acts in a way that frightens the other partner.
  • Tries to control the actions of the other partner or tries to control where he or she goes and with whom he or she interacts.
  • Tries to prevent the other from spending time with family.
  • Tries to take the other partner's money or attempts to limit access to money.
  • Makes all of the decisions.
  • Threatens to take away the children or says that the other partner is a bad parent.
  • Makes threats that he or she is going to commit suicide.
  • Tries to prevent the other from having a job or attending school.
  • Tries to minimize the abuse as if it was nothing, deny it or make it out to be the other person's fault.
  • Threatens to destroy property, destroys property or threatens to hurt the other partner's pets.
  • Hits, slaps, punches or beats the other partner.
  • Threatens to kill the other.
  • Threatens the other with knives, guns and weapons.

Did any of the above happen to you?

Even if something from the list above happened to you one time, it might constitute domestic violence. As such, it's important to pay attention to the way your partner treats you. Ultimately, no one needs to put up with domestic abuse. The law and police will help you stop your abuse once and for all and divorce safely.

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Nancy Noyes Engelman, Noyes & Rubin, LLP
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New Haven, CT 06510

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